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Riding on the train this morning and was struck by these chewing gum ads that encourage one to get off the computer and start making out. I actually smiled at 9 in the morning cause, they're kind of cute and pop-culturish without being condescending and snarky, which seems to the be thing to do in this day and age. (I speak for moi when I say this too!)

Then, clicking on Gawker, there's this blog about humorous if not very overwritten and specific ads from back in the olden days. What is this day trying to tell me? Probably nothing.


Links Via: Valleywag, Gawker

Jeez...

As achingly bad as I want a clean Obama victory, I am not counting McCain out just yet, but seriously, WTF? If it weren't so deliciously ironic for the self-righteous, completely delusional McCain camp and his supporters, the news that Sarah Palin's teenage daughter is knocked up would almost be sad and unfortunate. Just like I couldn't care less and didn't understand what the big deal was over Britney Spears' sister, besides the fact that Sarah Palin was a desperate choice to sway Hilary voters (kiss that plan goodbye), I really don't give a damn that Bristol Palin, a girl from a moderately/very wealthy family who has unlimited access to acceptable pre-natal care and has the chance to raise a healthy, well educated kid is with child.
Obama (full of grace) said that children and families are off limits but revisiting the fact that the disenfranchised poor in this country will stay in their circumstances because they are basically screwed from birth due in large part to greedy republican ideology might not be a bad idea...

This election has taken it's strangest turn yet and I am loving the frantic spinning/justifying/bullshitting that the republican party is doing, not to mention every right wing pro life Christan group who has access to a computer. Making a less than accurate prediction that tomorrow, I will wake up to CNN breaking the news that Sarah Palin is in fact, a man. I mean, at this point, it's not entirely implausible.

Scattered thoughts, Morning angriness

For the last time...it's a POUND! A DAP if you will...if I hear or read "fist bump"one more time I will (attempt) to scream for 12 hrs straight while simultaneously smacking someone, anyone within handshot upside the head. Why must the media make everything so damn cheesy? I mourn the loss of all the cool and funny things I used to say but now, sadly cannot because it has been adapted by "mainstream" America.

Let's start with the obvious...the Dap. Because it will inevitably turn into this:














The term ghetto:
While many people, Black, white, what have you, find this word offensive, I myself actually enjoyed using it quite a bit back in the day to fondly describe growing up in the projects and making ends meet in the most creative of ways. It's personal nostalgia for me because if you weren't well off growing up and your parents knew what they were doing, you had absolutely no idea that you were in an undesirable situation. (Doesn't everybody use a washcloth and baking soda to brush their teeth when there is no toothpaste or brush around? Hmmm...) I had to put a stop to my affection for the word when ghetto became synonymous with ignorant and when I heard some blonde girl on campus with a sorority shirt on using it completely out of context. "Oh My God! Jello Shots are so freakin' ghetto!" (sigh)

Hot mess:
The beginning of the end started with that God-awful BET show, which I hope is off the air by now. (I only watch the reruns of Different World and Different Strokes) Then along with "fierce", the gays began to use it in full force, which is actually okay because unlike most, when they say it, they mean it. But the term has been used and overused so much, that it's simply time for me to retire it, even though, growing up around Black women all my life, the term is permanently etched into my brain. Maybe I'll just use it on the inside.

On a completely different note, can I just say that Gore Vidal makes me smile? He's old, bitter, sassy, completely and ridiculously intelligent and he doesn't seem to outwardly like anybody or anything. What's not to love? I even liked him when he was being a complete ass in With Honors (Sort of good, very watchable early nineties film). Turns out, he was just being himself. Genius!

link via Gawker

We wear the mask

So because of all this Obama stuff, certain people can't quite seem to grasp the dual nature of being black in this country. After watching this video, all of that should be answered. The effortlessness, the ease at which this anchorman goes from "professional" to "pissed off black guy" is flawless and inspired. Wake up America, we can't be just one kind of Black person all the time...that would make us disingenuous or downright corny. But, as this guy demonstrates, being both is f***ing HILARIOUS.

I'm sorry but it's funny, leave me alone.

I will be hitting (forgive me as my hands shake while I type) the big 3-0 next month. Mentally, it's like yay! I'm older and wiser and smarter and sexier and funnier, I hope. Chronologically it's more like f**k, this concept of time is actually sort of real and I'm caught up in it and there's not a damn thing I can do about it. This is why I am so glad I have the power to amuse myself and lower my good taste and decorum from time to time. I mean, if I can't laugh at the fact that my dog farted so bad in Petland the other day that it kind of made me gag and I had to convince the sales girl for three minutes that it wasn't me, than what good is living?

So I say please forgive me for picking on poor Robert Creamer...I'll give you a moment. He's a very good writer for the Huff Po. His articles about politics and the current election are dead on and insightful. Despite all that, I can never get past the byline without losing it, as I mentioned in my last myspace blog, which is considerably less refined than this one. But Seriously, WTF is up with that Simpson/South Parkesque surname? I am soooo googling the origins of it, assuming it's not NSFW. I kind of hate myself for inserting two web abbreviations phrase thingies. Oh well.

links via Huffington Post, Myspace, South Park Studios

Stuff this Black person actually likes

When I first clicked on this link, I was like, oh no, not another one! These Stuff (insert race) People Like blogs are popping up EVERYWHERE. However, I was mildly surprised when I realized that Stuff Black People Hate is ridiculously random, amusingly hateful (if there is such a thing) and actually kind of funny.

The guy who writes it reminds me of that one kid you knew in college who would chill in your room and crack everyone up as he sat there and went off for three hours about all the people and things in the world he hated and what he would do to them if he got the chance. It usually involved firearms or explosives. This kid would always be wearing the same thing and read alot of comic books and this gave you reason to fear him, just a little. He never understood why everyone found him so amusing but didn't care and would leave your room abruptly after stealing some Ramen noodles.

In other words, I recommend it.

The guy who started all of this (i think) just got a book deal. Finding out that he is Canadian doesn't seem to sit well with me though. Hmmmm......

links via: Stuff Black People Hate, Gawker

Jane Fonda is my new hero...sort of, for today.

Not going to waste time explaining this because it's been done already. Just watch it and laugh and then laugh some more at Meredith Viera's "apology".



And then laugh some more because Jane Fonda is an old lady who knew exactly what the hell she was saying. Diane Keaton was my hero, sort of, a couple of weeks ago for this. What is going on with old ladies lately? If this is what I have to look forward to then god, I can't wait. I'm going to be a mess. A hot mess.

heh?

Marion Jones' unfortunate (and stupid) choice to juice it up for the Olympics doesn't particularly surprise me. Neither do all these baseball guys (probably all guilty) or even 50 cent or Timbaland (file that under duh...) but Wyclef? If true, may I suggest upping the dosage? Um.......Mary J. Blige? What in the r&b mess? She is kind of a statuesque lady...maybe she was feeling the pressure to continue to look good in heels. (heels do a number on your legs, back, butt, everything. I know!) Or maybe she was just training to be able to keep up with this guy:



FABULOUS! Am only a little embarrassed to admit that he dances like me! Or me like him? Oh well, now there's something else to over think while I'm trying to look cool on the dance floor with as little movement as possible.

Kathy Griffin is sort of my hero

It's nice to have a celebrity say exactly what's on your mind instead of what they have been trained to say by their publicists and managers and lawyers. The only people that will listen to me are my bf (sometimes) and my damn dogs so I praise this lady for standing in on alot of people's soapboxes. Please see what KG (why, as typing did I just realize we have the same initials?) has to say about the travesty that was the MTV awards...




image via MSNBC
link via Entertainment Weekly