Seriously though....

Memo to the writers of True Blood:

Okay, I get it. People down South don't really work or go grocery shopping or even eat but they sure like to have sex. Human, breathing people, dead vampire people, Black people, white people, gay and straight people. They have kinky sex, rough sex, chained up vampire sex, guilt sex, mercy sex, bored sex, they have sex with themselves. They drink alot before and after having sex, they even pop pills. They think about having sex, they dream about it and they talk about it, alot. They tie each other up, they videotape each other having sex, they do the oral thing, they growl and thrash about while having sex, they die while having sex. They do it all. Have I covered everything? Cause you sure have. In three episodes, which equals three lost hours of my life. Let's start getting around to an actually watchable television show because I'm nearly done. Thank you.

Love,

Kia

Picture it...me crying

Estelle Getty has passed away. She was 84 years old.
Everyone likes to play that game where they assign Sex & the City characters to themselves. Well, when I was in college, before I even knew that show existed, me and my 3 friends would sit around philosophizing about which one of us was Blanche, Dorothy, Rose or Sophia. I always happily ended up being Sophia. She was my absolute favorite. R.I.P.

All great things

Even though I grew up a serious dilettante (clarinet, Alto sax, dance, musical theater, track and field, piano, poetry, painting, photography, blah blah blah), I am pretty sure that film is it for me. In thinking about this, I recall two specific things that lead me to this conclusion. The first is this show during the eighties called "Lights, Camera, Action" narrated by Leonard Nimoy that used to air on Nickelodeon. You couldn't have told me this show didn't have a thousand episodes after watching the making of the Dark Crystal. It was like constant music in my ears after that, I didn't know what to do with myself. The second is "At the Movies" with Siskel and Ebert. First of all, to an introverted, movie obssessed 8 year old on a rainy day, the cheesy intro music and movie theater set is the greatest thing ever. And the movie clips! The arguing! And even though it took me a while to warm up to Richard Roeper, I feel a little something knowing that everything I once knew about the show is going away, no more thumbs up, thumbs down. I wish Roger Ebert the best, I owe that show a lot. The new hosts will probably be acceptable and entertaining. There's just no replacing the original. If more people had that kind of passion for movies, maybe so many crappy movies wouldn't get made. Just a thought.

We wear the mask

So because of all this Obama stuff, certain people can't quite seem to grasp the dual nature of being black in this country. After watching this video, all of that should be answered. The effortlessness, the ease at which this anchorman goes from "professional" to "pissed off black guy" is flawless and inspired. Wake up America, we can't be just one kind of Black person all the time...that would make us disingenuous or downright corny. But, as this guy demonstrates, being both is f***ing HILARIOUS.

Jane Fonda is my new hero...sort of, for today.

Not going to waste time explaining this because it's been done already. Just watch it and laugh and then laugh some more at Meredith Viera's "apology".



And then laugh some more because Jane Fonda is an old lady who knew exactly what the hell she was saying. Diane Keaton was my hero, sort of, a couple of weeks ago for this. What is going on with old ladies lately? If this is what I have to look forward to then god, I can't wait. I'm going to be a mess. A hot mess.

heh?

Marion Jones' unfortunate (and stupid) choice to juice it up for the Olympics doesn't particularly surprise me. Neither do all these baseball guys (probably all guilty) or even 50 cent or Timbaland (file that under duh...) but Wyclef? If true, may I suggest upping the dosage? Um.......Mary J. Blige? What in the r&b mess? She is kind of a statuesque lady...maybe she was feeling the pressure to continue to look good in heels. (heels do a number on your legs, back, butt, everything. I know!) Or maybe she was just training to be able to keep up with this guy:



FABULOUS! Am only a little embarrassed to admit that he dances like me! Or me like him? Oh well, now there's something else to over think while I'm trying to look cool on the dance floor with as little movement as possible.

When It was good....

I complain quite often about the scam that is cable television. There are now 1000+ channels available and on any given day less than 1% of it is actually watchable. My cable bill has been known to hit the three digit mark and for what? Say it with me: SCAM. So, needless to say I was over the moon when Cinemax came up with the genius idea of showing the 2hr long versions of the Alien Nation series, made after they cancelled it. It was instant 9th grade nostalgia for me and I actually appreciated cable television because not only did they run all three (or four) of them but they repeat them and played them early Saturday afternoon around elevenish, when I am almost always home. Bliss. For the woefully uninformed, Alien Nation was one of the best sci-fi TV series ever made. Based on a series of books and a sort of crappy movie, I was shocked to learn that it was only on for one season. The way this show had me sucked in, it felt like it was on for two years at least. Anyway, it was very forward thinking for a show that could have gone in the campy, low budget sci- fi genre route. It touched on issues such as racism, sexism, identity and gender and always with a wink wink because the main characters were aliens that had walnuts/ melons for heads. And I will say this forever, but Gary Graham is one of the most underrated actors ever. (Remember Robot Jox? Yes, I went there....) Look carefully at the episode called "Body and Soul" and you will see a very pre- Sex and the City Kristin Davis as a serene, new age alien. I don't buy TV shows on DVD, (Half of what they sell at Best Buy is still on TV) but this is one series I have to invest in. I'm sorry but it was that good.

image via Toxic Shock
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