Religulous

From the average viewer's perspective, having watched Politically Incorrect all through HS and now Real Time, I think it's safe to say that Bill Maher is a cocky bastard. Cocky and most of the time right. Even when it's delivered in the most abrasive, offensive way possible. That being said, the documentary Religulous (not sure if I spelled that right) was predictable in that it was 100 minutes of Bill Maher telling us what we already know: that he thinks anyone who subscribes to any religion is a mentally ill, deluded asshole and that they are taking up all the air breathed by smart, rational, science loving people.

Because this is directed by Larry Charles, director of Borat, this premise is funny only halfway until you realize that without the one-liners being hurled, the religious freaks putting their foot in their mouths and the crazy, irreverent movie clips intercut between damn near every scene, you don't have much of an interesting film. With the exception of a few, the interviews seemed way too short and the cramming and bashing of every major religion, including Scientology seemed rushed.

The problem with Religulous is that it preaches to the converted. The only people that will probably see this are so called intellectuals, democrats, open-minded, free thinking people, in other words, the same people that watch his show. Even though there is nothing wrong with making a decidedly biased movie, it gets stale after a while when you realize that the joke ceases to be funny because you get it from the beginning. The lawsuits that will inevitably follow this film might be more interesting.

Granted, the nice touches are Maher's conversations with his now deceased mother, a cringe-inducing interview with a reformed heterosexual Christian and an utterly clueless politician who doesn't even to seem to know why he's religious. But unlike Borat, this isn't enough to carry the movie as Maher injects himself way too much into the film, especially at the end which is basically an extended version of his trademark rant at the end of Real Time. Religulous incites a few laughs and there are some genuinely entertaining moments but overall, it was way too scattered and even for yours truly, the converted, way too one sided.

Seriously though....

Memo to the writers of True Blood:

Okay, I get it. People down South don't really work or go grocery shopping or even eat but they sure like to have sex. Human, breathing people, dead vampire people, Black people, white people, gay and straight people. They have kinky sex, rough sex, chained up vampire sex, guilt sex, mercy sex, bored sex, they have sex with themselves. They drink alot before and after having sex, they even pop pills. They think about having sex, they dream about it and they talk about it, alot. They tie each other up, they videotape each other having sex, they do the oral thing, they growl and thrash about while having sex, they die while having sex. They do it all. Have I covered everything? Cause you sure have. In three episodes, which equals three lost hours of my life. Let's start getting around to an actually watchable television show because I'm nearly done. Thank you.

Love,

Kia

Why weekends suck and are amazing

Friday: Came home right after work, went into a tv coma.

Saturday: Participated in harrowing, headache inducing, kind of strangely comfortable road trip to Philly with my sister driving and 4 women going through menopause complaining about the air conditioner in the back. (Among many, many other things.)

Sunday: Went to the New York Television Festival at New World Stages, which sadly, used to be the $2 movie theater. (HS memories!) The panel discussions ranged from very helpful, inspiring and informative to downright patronizing and glib. (welcome to the world of TV development!) After that, I decided to walk from 50th between 8th and 9th all the way home. I made it almost 2 miles when I realized that I was sweating worse than everyone in this movie so I hopped on the bus.

Before that though, I took a little shortcut (not really) through the tunnel at the Bethesda Fountain and was literally stopped in my tracks by Thoth. I'd heard of him and have probably seen him around, but because of my increasingly unhealthy contempt for tourists who I try to avoid like the plague, I haven't been to that part of the park in ages. It was like everyone disappeared. No real description can accurately describe the effect of his voice, his movement in the space, that lacked a real audience, thanks to the massive crowd of tourists surrounding these two guys who were doing stand up or break dancing, or something. Some people walked by, snickering at his costume, his unexplainable performance. Some, like me, stayed to watch, mesmerized and when he finished we weren't sure whether to applaud or just walk away in quiet reverence. I did both and then continued on my trek through the park where I proceeded to dodge camera wielding tourists who took up the entire width of a city street, oblivious to the thousands of people around them who just wanted to go home.

Bliss.

Ads

Riding on the train this morning and was struck by these chewing gum ads that encourage one to get off the computer and start making out. I actually smiled at 9 in the morning cause, they're kind of cute and pop-culturish without being condescending and snarky, which seems to the be thing to do in this day and age. (I speak for moi when I say this too!)

Then, clicking on Gawker, there's this blog about humorous if not very overwritten and specific ads from back in the olden days. What is this day trying to tell me? Probably nothing.


Links Via: Valleywag, Gawker

It's never too late

Congratulations to Maurice Sendak for coming out at age 80. I have purposely not watched or really read anything related to the live action version of Where the Wild Things Are because I will wait for the movie to be in completion to pass judgement. As much as I love Spike Jonze, aren't some things just sacred? We'll see...

Revisiting a sad and infuriating statistic

Hannah Upp. If you watch television, own a computer and especially if you live in NYC, there is no escaping this woman's name, face, story. She's missing! She's a school teacher! OMG, she lives in Harlem! The media who claim to be so compassionate about stories of missing people did all but print a story about her body being found somewhere. Notices went up on all the social networking sites, email vigils were forwarded to people's inboxes and then days later, Upp is spotted and then positively identified by her parents in the Apple store on fifth avenue.

Now, stories are surfacing that maybe she wanted to disappear from the face of the Earth, overlooking the small fact that her friends and family would be worried sick looking for her. I don't want to sound angry but bias is bias and when it's so blatant and no one takes accountability for it, it's hard to sympathize for one young woman going through a personal crisis, when there are families of hundreds of women of color who will never see their daughters again. I sincerely hope that Upp is okay and that she deals with whatever she is going through. Just like I sincerely wish the media would fairly cover all missing person's cases with the same fervor and round the clock coverage of a pretty white girl with a flower in her hair.

Passionate and informative video on the subject via Brave New Films after the jump:



Links via ABC news
Wikipedia

Jeez...

As achingly bad as I want a clean Obama victory, I am not counting McCain out just yet, but seriously, WTF? If it weren't so deliciously ironic for the self-righteous, completely delusional McCain camp and his supporters, the news that Sarah Palin's teenage daughter is knocked up would almost be sad and unfortunate. Just like I couldn't care less and didn't understand what the big deal was over Britney Spears' sister, besides the fact that Sarah Palin was a desperate choice to sway Hilary voters (kiss that plan goodbye), I really don't give a damn that Bristol Palin, a girl from a moderately/very wealthy family who has unlimited access to acceptable pre-natal care and has the chance to raise a healthy, well educated kid is with child.
Obama (full of grace) said that children and families are off limits but revisiting the fact that the disenfranchised poor in this country will stay in their circumstances because they are basically screwed from birth due in large part to greedy republican ideology might not be a bad idea...

This election has taken it's strangest turn yet and I am loving the frantic spinning/justifying/bullshitting that the republican party is doing, not to mention every right wing pro life Christan group who has access to a computer. Making a less than accurate prediction that tomorrow, I will wake up to CNN breaking the news that Sarah Palin is in fact, a man. I mean, at this point, it's not entirely implausible.

Hmmmmmm.......

It's no secret that, while conflicted about it, I am somewhat of a Disney groupie. Since I saw Lady and the Tramp when I was about 5, ( and when it's good, it's not all good) I've been hooked. (I also know at least two songs from every Disney musical ever made but shhhh...don't tell anybody).

So bear with me as I pause (kind of) to pass judgement on this new Disney film set in New Orleans featuring the first Black female princess. Not even out yet, The Princess and The Frog is already stirring controversy, as Disney literally had to go back to the drawing board after
originally making her a god damn maid. (Some studio exec probably rationalized: Hey, Cinderella was a maid! No one had a problem with that!)

So she's no longer a maid but the fact that it's set in a place and time where technically, princesses can't really exist bothers me. Why can't little black girls wander off into far away lands of unspecified origin in their daydreams instead of colonial America? Black people love escapist fantasy just as much as the next person. And even though Disney will make a killing off of the marketing and merchandise of this film because parents will buy their kids anything, isn't it a little too late for hand drawn animation? Wouldn't this have fared better pre-Pixar, say right after Mulan?

And then I come to what I know will ultimately piss me off about this film. The buck toothed, slack jawed, Sambo-like insect that I guess is supposed to invoke fond memories of Jiminy Cricket or Sebastian the crab but really is just some of the most ridiculous, stereotypical shit I have ever seen. I won't post any links to the trailer here, as I have already (unsuccessfully) tried not to pass judgement. Google it, and see for yourself.

And let me end with saying that Mufaro's Beautiful Daughters was and still is one of the most beautifully written, illustrated and imaginative children's books ever written. It should be required reading for every black mother who would like to have her daughter not grow up with identity/ self-esteem issues. (worked for me!) The story has romance, a handsome prince, drama, intrigue, talking animals and it's set in Africa. It's gorgeous and I've always thought it should be adapted to the big screen. But then again, if passed through the unrelenting stereotype machine that is American cinema, the end result would be nothing like the original. But I digress. Actually I don't.

This from the guy who starred in Anaconda

(Throwing my hands up to the heavens) God Bless free speech:

" Sen. Barack Obama has grown up with the teaching of very angry, militant white and black people: the Rev. Jeremiah Wright, Louis Farrakhan, William Ayers and Rev. Michael Pfleger. We cannot say we are not affected by teachers who are militant and angry. We know too well that we become like them, and Mr. Obama will run this country in their mindset . . .

If Mr. Obama had his way, he would have pulled our troops from Iraq years ago and initiated an unprecedented bloodbath, turning over that country to the barbarianism of our enemies. With what he has openly stated about his plans for our military, and his lack of understanding about the true nature of our enemies, there’s not a cell in my body that can accept the idea that Mr. Obama can keep us safe from the terrorists around the world, and from Iran, which is making great strides toward getting the atomic bomb. And while a misleading portrait of Mr. Obama is being perpetrated by a media controlled by the Democrats, the Obama camp has sent out people to attack the greatness of Sen. John McCain, whose suffering and courage in a Hanoi prison camp is an American legend."

- As told by Jon Voight. I like Midnight Cowboy just as much as anyone, but really, shut the hell up.

Thanks to Crunk & Disorderly

Picture it...me crying

Estelle Getty has passed away. She was 84 years old.
Everyone likes to play that game where they assign Sex & the City characters to themselves. Well, when I was in college, before I even knew that show existed, me and my 3 friends would sit around philosophizing about which one of us was Blanche, Dorothy, Rose or Sophia. I always happily ended up being Sophia. She was my absolute favorite. R.I.P.

All great things

Even though I grew up a serious dilettante (clarinet, Alto sax, dance, musical theater, track and field, piano, poetry, painting, photography, blah blah blah), I am pretty sure that film is it for me. In thinking about this, I recall two specific things that lead me to this conclusion. The first is this show during the eighties called "Lights, Camera, Action" narrated by Leonard Nimoy that used to air on Nickelodeon. You couldn't have told me this show didn't have a thousand episodes after watching the making of the Dark Crystal. It was like constant music in my ears after that, I didn't know what to do with myself. The second is "At the Movies" with Siskel and Ebert. First of all, to an introverted, movie obssessed 8 year old on a rainy day, the cheesy intro music and movie theater set is the greatest thing ever. And the movie clips! The arguing! And even though it took me a while to warm up to Richard Roeper, I feel a little something knowing that everything I once knew about the show is going away, no more thumbs up, thumbs down. I wish Roger Ebert the best, I owe that show a lot. The new hosts will probably be acceptable and entertaining. There's just no replacing the original. If more people had that kind of passion for movies, maybe so many crappy movies wouldn't get made. Just a thought.

um...what?

I'm all for good bedside manner but this might be taking that a tad bit too far.
A lollipop or a sticker is just not enough these days I guess.

GO SEE WALL-E GO SEE WALL-E GO SEE WALL-E....

I was armed with all the cynicism in my 30-year old body and sadly, it melted away in less than five minutes. I must preface this by saying that I am a die-hard fan of traditional hand drawn animation and have not been sucked into the Pixar wave, no matter how creative or groundbreaking their films are. I like Finding Nemo alot, everything else for me is just ok. Until last night. Where do I begin? The eerie post apocalyptic New York set to sadly beautiful big band music? The breathtaking space scenes, the commentary on the future of this world if it is run into the ground by corporations, or simply the fact that the little robot had only one real line and every time he said it, I couldn't help but smile. Aw shucks, I LOVED this movie! (And yes, he does look like Johnny 5 but honestly, I always thought Johnny 5 was kind of creepy. This little bastard was just unimaginably cute...and yes, there is an entire website devoted to fans of Short Circuits 1 & 2...I don't judge.) But back to the subject at hand. GO SEE WALL- E! It's that good.

The More Things Change....

Here we go again....I honestly don't know what to say or do anymore without becoming the enraged Black person everyone wants me to be, thinks I am, wishes I was, blah blah blah...this incredibly confusing, "it's cool to be un-PC, but still PC at the same time" era we live in is getting out of control. Did it ever occur to the snarky, (clever in their own heads) people at the New Yorker that they are giving way too many IQ points to a vast majority of Americans and so-called media savvy New Yorkers for that matter? That all the nutbag extremists who still think that the Obamas are closet terrorists won't take this magazine cover and run with it? What makes this so-called liberal magazine any different from the crazy assholes at Fox News? (see, they got me cussin')Or maybe that was the plan from the beginning. Perhaps all the "liberals" who come up with these gems are really hard-core republicans who are so frightened at the prospect of a Black president that they will go these extremes. Whatever the rationale behind this disgraceful "artwork", (Sorry, I'm not buying the satire angle) I am exhausted trying to wrap my head around why people are so resistant to change. It makes me very sad for this country and ALL the people who live in it.

Wtf Jesse Jackson?

(Sigh) Haven't been feeling really bloggy lately nor do I have the energy to tackle this one.

The Wackness

I appreciate movies that are extremely personal to the director, almost autobiographical. It's often the way I write my own stuff and when it's done well, it can be pretty powerful. "The Wackness", starring Ben Kingsley, adorable Josh Peck, the friend from Juno and one of those Olsen twins (still trying to figure out the point of that) is one of those movies. It starts out extremely self- indulgent as the actors didn't seem to be comfortable with the dialogue until the end of the second act and there were some scenes that just seemed a few minutes too long. (the constant references to stuff from 1994 were also kind of annoying) Despite that, this film turns out to be a very sweet, sad , and weird little movie about one of the hottest summers in NYC (I remember), falling in love and dealing with crazy old people. The craziest being Ben Kingsley, who jumps right into his stoner psychiatrist role, weird accent and all. He is so entertaining that it never gets tired and Josh Peck as his 18 year old dealer is almost perfect opposition. Even if you weren't into 90's Hip-Hop ( The soundtrack gave me serious 10th grade flashbacks) it still had something for everyone. What bothered me the most though was Method Man's horrendous accent as a Jamaican drug dealer (They could afford Ben Kingsley but not a dialect coach?) and the insertion of the title in the dialogue which I loathe unless absolutely necessary. The girl from Juno (I know her name just don't feel like typing it) says something like: "I see the dopeness, you see the wackness." Heh? Um, no, just no. Other than that, check it out.

Scattered thoughts, Morning angriness

For the last time...it's a POUND! A DAP if you will...if I hear or read "fist bump"one more time I will (attempt) to scream for 12 hrs straight while simultaneously smacking someone, anyone within handshot upside the head. Why must the media make everything so damn cheesy? I mourn the loss of all the cool and funny things I used to say but now, sadly cannot because it has been adapted by "mainstream" America.

Let's start with the obvious...the Dap. Because it will inevitably turn into this:














The term ghetto:
While many people, Black, white, what have you, find this word offensive, I myself actually enjoyed using it quite a bit back in the day to fondly describe growing up in the projects and making ends meet in the most creative of ways. It's personal nostalgia for me because if you weren't well off growing up and your parents knew what they were doing, you had absolutely no idea that you were in an undesirable situation. (Doesn't everybody use a washcloth and baking soda to brush their teeth when there is no toothpaste or brush around? Hmmm...) I had to put a stop to my affection for the word when ghetto became synonymous with ignorant and when I heard some blonde girl on campus with a sorority shirt on using it completely out of context. "Oh My God! Jello Shots are so freakin' ghetto!" (sigh)

Hot mess:
The beginning of the end started with that God-awful BET show, which I hope is off the air by now. (I only watch the reruns of Different World and Different Strokes) Then along with "fierce", the gays began to use it in full force, which is actually okay because unlike most, when they say it, they mean it. But the term has been used and overused so much, that it's simply time for me to retire it, even though, growing up around Black women all my life, the term is permanently etched into my brain. Maybe I'll just use it on the inside.

On a completely different note, can I just say that Gore Vidal makes me smile? He's old, bitter, sassy, completely and ridiculously intelligent and he doesn't seem to outwardly like anybody or anything. What's not to love? I even liked him when he was being a complete ass in With Honors (Sort of good, very watchable early nineties film). Turns out, he was just being himself. Genius!

link via Gawker

We wear the mask

So because of all this Obama stuff, certain people can't quite seem to grasp the dual nature of being black in this country. After watching this video, all of that should be answered. The effortlessness, the ease at which this anchorman goes from "professional" to "pissed off black guy" is flawless and inspired. Wake up America, we can't be just one kind of Black person all the time...that would make us disingenuous or downright corny. But, as this guy demonstrates, being both is f***ing HILARIOUS.

This is it

Not too long ago, I had the unique opportunity to teach. Some of my kids were absolute angels, others most likely have three numbers tattooed somewhere on their heads. Even though for the most part it was cool, the one thing that bugged me about teaching was that you learn sometimes people need to hear the truth, not what's polite. Like when a kid was out of control and I had to say to a parent: "He has an extremely high energy level and sometimes it's distracting to other students." Bullshit. "Your child has no attention span because all you do is get him hopped up on sugar and violent video games, and honestly, you're not that good of a parent." See the difference? That's the truth.

This is why I think for the sake of this country's sanity someone from the DNC needs to step it up, pull Hilary into a small enclosed space (Where she can't escape) and talk some sense into her. Real Talk, not "Uh, maybe it's time to hang it up" talk. Yes, Obama is the nominee and deservedly so, but imagine how much more of an impact this news would have had if she did the right thing and conceded, maybe convincing some of her less informed voters from states that shall remain nameless that he is the only logical choice for the presidency. Any teacher can tell you, human behavior doesn't change form, just shape. Right now, Hilary is throwing a big fat tantrum.

???????

Just curious....who is my one subscriber? It's not any of my friends and family as I have sadly discovered. Who are you, let's rap a taste. Heaven knows I appreciate you, you've brought me into extreme obscurity rather than complete oblivion. Thanks!

(smooches)

K.